The Messy Bun Wife

I always dreamed of owning my own home, having lots of children and living in our community for years and years. Watching my children grow up with their friends from the neighborhood. Like I did! Knowing everyone, lots of family and friends around. Cheering at every event. Sports, gymnastics everything they’d start and keep moving up with the kids they started with. I was so excited for that!  Boy or boy did God have plans bigger than I ever imagined. 
Being a military wife has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done (so far). The word “military” and “staying” don’t go together at all! So my dreams of buying a house, staying in the community and everything in between, didn’t happen at all. Not even close to how I imagined our picture perfect lifestyle. My husband Sean chose to serve our country and I chose to stand by his side through every move near or far, every deployment and TDY, through raising kids without him months at a time. Whatever they threw at us, I promised I’d be there when he got back! The difficult part for me has always been my children. They didn’t get to choose to live this military life. They didn’t choose to leave their family and friends. They definitely didn’t get the choice when we up and moved to another country for three and a half years. 
My kids are amazing, they have shown me just how resilient children truly are. I am so thankful for that! I will never forget my husband getting his orders. They said “Aviano, Italy ... 36 Months” I was so excited and a little bit in shock all at the same time! The excitement lasted for about two weeks until reality kicked in. My mind was flooded with just how far from “home” we were going to be. My kids saying good-bye to their grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles. Me saying bye to my parents,siblings, niece and nephews. My friends. How much it would cost for people to visit us. How much it would be to bring my family of four ( at the time ) to visit over the three and half years. 16 hours plane ride. I started to second guess what we had done. I didn’t want our four year old daughter missing out on everything with family. I didn’t want our seven month old growing up away from everyone. This wasn’t what I had planned for our life.   
Sometimes life goes the complete opposite way and you don’t understand. Be thankful! It’s a blessing that my take a while to reveal itself! I have learned to appreciate time with family and friends because I never know when we can visit again. I’ve learned that when life doesn’t go my way it’s okay, that you have to make life what you want it. I wanted to raise my kids a certain way, and I am raising them completely different. They miss a couple days of school to travel to different countries. They’ve made friends from all over the world. They’ve learned plans change, and that’s okay! Make new ones and don’t let it ruin your day! In the military things change all the time. We have to just know nothing is set in stone. I would have missed out on the beauty of getting to experience Italy if I let the “bad” parts of living overseas affect me. I had our third child while over here, no family could be here. No running out to the waiting room to say “She’s here!”.  She will be six months old and met my parents when she was three and a half months old. I missed my best friends wedding, and I was sad for days! It isn’t always perfect living overseas and I don’t expect it to be.I’ve learned nothing is! So I make every situation the best I can! 
I now go with the flow more than ever. I live everyday in a beautiful country that I’ll miss so much when we leave! Don’t let life get you down! When life takes you in another direction, go! Enjoy that trail of life before going on another path! Everyday is a blessing, even if it wasn’t what you had planned for!  
Kayla Compton
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Creator of The Messy Bun Wife 

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